Quitter’s Day Has Passed: A Better Way to Set Goals That Actually Stick in Midlife

Choosing a steady path forward — one small, intentional step at a time.

The second Friday of January has earned an unfortunate nickname: Quitter’s Day.

It’s the point in the year when many New Year’s resolutions quietly fall apart. Motivation fades. Life gets busy. And that hopeful energy of January 1st starts to feel… distant.

If you’re a midlife woman reading this and thinking, Yep. That tracks, I want you to know this:

There is nothing wrong with you.
The problem isn’t a lack of discipline or willpower.
The problem is how we’ve been taught to set goals in the first place.

If your resolutions are already wobbling — or if you’ve abandoned them altogether — this might be your invitation to reset. Not by making new resolutions, but by shifting to a more sustainable, life-honoring way of setting goals.

Why Resolutions Fail (Especially in Midlife)

Traditional resolutions tend to be:

• Vague (“I want to get healthier”)

• All-or-nothing (“I’ll work out every day”)

• Disconnected from the realities of our lives

In midlife, many women are juggling careers, caregiving, relationships, changing bodies, shifting hormones, and evolving identities. The “just try harder” approach doesn’t work here — and frankly, it never really did.

Behavioral science backs this up.

In a conversation on the Mel Robbins Podcast, behavioral scientist Katy Milkman explains that lasting change is far more likely when we design goals that work with human behavior instead of fighting against it.

And that’s where goals — not resolutions — come in: a more sustainable, life-honoring way of setting goals.

Sometimes the shift comes after we stop pushing and allow space for clarity.

Goals vs. Resolutions: A Subtle but Powerful Shift

A resolution is often a statement of intent:

“I’m going to exercise more.”

A goal is directional and grounded:

“I want to build strength so I can feel confident and capable in my body as I age.”

Goals invite strategy.
Resolutions demand motivation.

Research from habit experts like James Clear (Atomic Habits) and BJ Fogg (Tiny Habits) consistently shows that behavior change sticks when:

• the why is deeply personal

• the actions are small and repeatable

• the system matters more than the outcome

In other words, success comes from what you do consistently — not what you declare on January 1st.

Why Your “Why” Matters More Than Willpower in Goal-Setting

A common challenge in goal-setting is moving straight to action without first clarifying why the goal matters.

A strong goal is anchored to meaning:

• Independence

• Energy

• Confidence

• Longevity

• Being fully present for the people and experiences you love

When the why is clear and emotionally connected, the how becomes something you can return to — even after setbacks.

Keeping the long view in mind.

A Real-Life Example: How I Reached My Push-Up Goal at 62

In January of 2025, I set a goal: 20 consecutive push-ups by the end of the year.

At the time, I could do six or seven consecutive toe push-ups.

This goal worked not because I was especially motivated, but because it followed everything we know about habit formation.

My why:
Strength matters to me. I want to age powerfully, maintain my independence, and feel capable in my body for decades to come.

My how:
I didn’t overhaul my routine. I habit-stacked push-ups onto something I already did every day — waiting for my morning tea to steep.

By March, just two months in, my body had changed enough that I could do 15. No burnout. No perfection. Just consistency. From there, at the beginning of each month, I added one push-up.

By September — three months ahead of schedule — I hit my goal of 20 consecutive push-ups.

This is exactly what both Clear and Fogg emphasize: small actions, repeated consistently, compound into meaningful change.

A Simple Framework for Setting Goals That Actually Stick

If Quitter’s Day has you questioning your resolutions, try this instead:

1. What do you want to achieve?

Be specific and realistic. Not what you think you should want — what actually matters to you in this season of life.

2. Why does this matter?

Go deeper than surface-level motivation. Ask yourself:

• How will this change how I feel day-to-day?

• What kind of woman do I want to be moving forward?

3. How will you get there?

Break the goal into actions so small they feel almost too easy. Design them to fit into your real life — not an idealized one.

How to Apply This Goal-Setting Framework to the 5 Pillars of Vitality

Inside my Vitality Blueprint, I outline five foundational pillars that support healthy aging and sustainable change. Here’s how meaningful, emotionally grounded goal-setting might look in each one:

Nutrition

Goal: Eat healthier to support energy and metabolic health
Why: So I feel steady, nourished, and resilient — not depleted or reactive — and can trust my body again
How: Start with one supportive daily habit (for example: a protein-rich breakfast or a balanced afternoon snack)

Movement

Goal: Build strength and consistency
Why: So I can move confidently, stay independent, and continue doing the activities that make me feel alive
How: Attach movement to an existing daily habit

Sleep

Goal: Improve sleep quality
Why: So I wake up clear-headed, emotionally regulated, and better able to handle daily stress
How: Create one simple wind-down cue (for example: dimming the lights and having herbal tea at the same time each night)

Mindset

Goal: Reduce overwhelm and self-criticism
Why: So I can meet myself with compassion and respond to challenges instead of reacting to them
How: Introduce a brief daily pause or reflection

Connection & Purpose

Goal: Feel more engaged and supported
Why: So I don’t feel isolated and can stay connected to what gives my life meaning
How: Schedule small, intentional moments of connection

If You’ve Quit, You Haven’t Failed

If your resolutions didn’t survive Quitter’s Day, let that be information — not judgment.

You don’t need more discipline.
You need a better framework.

Goals rooted in purpose, broken into small steps, and designed for your season of life are far more likely to stick — and to actually change how you feel.

If you’re ready for a reset, this is a perfect moment to begin again — with intention, compassion, and a plan that works.

If You’re Ready for a Reset

If you’d like guidance in setting actionable goals across all five pillars, you can download my Vitality Blueprint — a practical, grounded framework designed specifically for midlife women who want to age powerfully and on their own terms.

And if you’re looking for personalized support, this is exactly the work I do in one-on-one coaching. We can start with a simple, no-pressure conversation to see if it’s a fit.