The Gift You Didn’t Get This Holiday Season… But You Can Give Yourself Now
Not every gift comes wrapped — some arrive as quiet realizations.
You may have unwrapped beautiful presents this holiday — thoughtful cards, cozy sweaters, maybe even moments of laughter that became memories. But there’s one gift you probably didn’t get — not from someone under the tree, and not from anyone else.
It’s the gift of truly putting yourself first.
For decades you’ve been the caregiver — the mom, the partner, the professional, the friend who always shows up — and you’ve done it with grace. You’ve mastered multitasking, triaged family emergencies, remembered birthdays and appointments (sometimes before your partner did!), and tucked your own needs into whatever small pocket of time you could find.
I know — because I was (and at times still am) that woman too.
I spent years being the one others relied on. The one who made sure everyone else was okay — often before I stopped to ask myself how I was doing. It wasn’t until my fifties that I began to realize something important: I had slowly drifted to the bottom of my own priority list.
That realization didn’t arrive all at once. It came gradually — through curiosity, self-reflection, and a growing awareness that the way I had been moving through life was no longer sustainable.
And like many women, I didn’t receive a neatly wrapped gift that magically changed everything. What I received instead was an invitation — one that took time, experimentation, and patience to fully understand.
Somewhere along the way, you may have forgotten that you also deserve care — not just as an occasional indulgence, but as a lifeline to the life you truly want. That’s the real gift you didn’t get this holiday season… and maybe the most important gift you could give yourself in the coming year.
The Long Road to Self-Care — and Why That’s Normal
My path toward caring for myself more intentionally wasn’t linear or polished. There were storms. There were setbacks. There were moments of frustration and self-doubt. And there were also sun breaks — moments of clarity, strength, and quiet joy when things felt aligned again.
Over time, I began to understand that self-care wasn’t about indulgence or escape. It wasn’t about doing more — it was about listening more closely.
For many of us, especially women who’ve spent decades caregiving, that shift can feel uncomfortable at first. We’re not used to centering ourselves — even when we know, deep down, that something needs to change.
Self-care rarely follows a straight path — it unfolds over time.
Self-Care Isn’t a Luxury — It’s a Foundation for Midlife Women
Self-care isn’t about spa days or checking another box on your to-do list. It’s about taking responsibility for your well-being in all the important areas of your life — your body, your energy, your emotions, your relationships, your sense of purpose.
As Robyn L. Gobin, PhD so clearly describes in her book, The Self-Care Prescription , self-care is about spending time getting to know who you are now, recognizing what you truly need, and committing to meeting those needs in ways that allow you to be healthy, fulfilled, and joyfully present in your world.
For many midlife women, this realization doesn’t arrive suddenly. It unfolds slowly — through reflection, trial and error, and a growing awareness that the way you’ve been doing things may no longer serve you. That process takes time, patience, and self-compassion.
What True Self-Care Really Looks Like
When you think of self-care this way, it stops being something you do once in a while and becomes something that supports your whole life. It becomes a practice that:
gives you more energy and resilience
deepens your relationships (including with yourself)
helps you live your purpose rather than just your checklist
brings more balance, meaning, and joy into your long days and quiet moments
allows you more capacity to show up for the people you love
That’s not self-indulgence — that’s self-respect.
True self-care doesn’t require stepping away from your life — it allows you to engage with it more fully.
And it doesn’t require perfection or dramatic change. It starts with small, intentional shifts:
moving your body in ways that feel supportive rather than punishing
nourishing yourself with food that fuels you
honoring your need for sleep and recovery
reconnecting with purpose beyond productivity
tending to relationships — including the one you have with yourself
If you’re wondering how to begin putting these ideas into practice, I created the Vitality Blueprint — a free guide designed to help you explore small, realistic habits across five key pillars: food, movement, sleep, purpose, and relationships. It’s a simple place to start.
Creating space makes it easier to listen to what you truly need.
Why Self-Care Matters — Especially in Midlife
When you consistently put yourself last, the cost eventually shows up — in your energy, your mood, your body, and sometimes in a quiet sense of disconnection from yourself.
Caring for yourself isn’t about withdrawing from the people you love. It’s about showing up as the best version of yourself — with more resilience, clarity, and capacity.
When you are supported:
your energy improves
your relationships feel more balanced
your days feel less draining
and your life feels more aligned
Self-care is not selfish. It’s stabilizing. And it benefits everyone around you.
A Gentle Reset Between Christmas and New Year’s
The week between Christmas and New Year’s offers a rare pause — a moment to reflect without pressure, to look ahead without urgency.
You don’t need a dramatic overhaul or a perfect plan. You just need a starting point.
Maybe that looks like:
listening to your body instead of pushing through
making space for movement that feels supportive
nourishing yourself more intentionally
protecting your sleep
or reconnecting with what gives your life meaning
Small, thoughtful choices — made consistently — build vitality over time.
Even in the quiet seasons, you are not meant to carry everything alone.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Today, as a health coach for women in their 50s and 60s, I work with women who are ready to stop putting themselves last — but don’t want to do it alone.
I help women:
change and maintain habits around food, movement, sleep, purpose, and relationships
feel stronger and more energized
live with vitality
and age powerfully, on their own terms
I don’t believe in rigid rules or quick fixes. I believe in thoughtful guidance, accountability, and creating a plan that fits your life.
I approach this work with deep understanding and respect for where you’ve been — and compassion for how change actually happens.
As we move into 2026, I currently have openings for two new clients.
If you’d like to explore whether coaching is a good fit, you can:
schedule a free discovery call, or
message me on Instagram to start a conversation
No pressure. Just support, clarity, and a place to begin.
One Last Thought
Whether you choose to work with me or not, I hope this is the year you begin giving yourself the care you’ve so freely given to others.
You deserve it — and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Go gently. Be patient. And remember: choosing yourself now isn’t too late.
It’s right on time.
There is always room to begin again.